Confessions...

Sometimes I don't focus well on the task at hand.
Sometimes I get distracted.
Sometimes I don't listen if the conversation doesn't interest me.
Sometimes I leave myself out of the loop.
Sometimes I eat snacks out of boredom.
Sometimes I look for any and every excuse for a change.
Sometimes I dream of living a nomadic exsistence.
Sometimes I dance around my house while I'm cleaning and pretend like I have some stellar moves.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have made a different decision.
Sometimes I settle.
Sometimes I cheat myself out of greatness.
Sometimes I'm so sad that it takes everything in me to not implode from the weight of it.
Sometimes it hurts for me to sit still, so I get up and run in a circle.
Sometimes all I want is to be able to tumble like I used to.
Sometimes I'm so excited about life and the future that I can't focus on the present.
Sometimes I sing along to the music in my car and imagine my amazing voice being discovered by the invisible talent scout sitting in my car covering his ears.
Sometimes I just need to write, even if it's all jibberish and nothings.

The Search is on...

I have a schedule.

I wake up at 5:30 to dance like no one's watching (cause they aren't). I take Guinness and Murphey out. I get ready for work. I go to work. I go home. I make his dinner. I see him off to work. I play with the puppies. I do dishes. I do laundry. I go to bed. I repeat.

I like my schedule.

I'm good at it.

I'm ready to add to it.

I'm ready to hit the ground running.

Isn't it Lovely...

Sometimes I wonder... What would it be like to live completely untouched by society and the expectations that come along with that? How would it change my perseption of situations? Would the same things offend me? Do I react the way I do because society has told me that I should? Where do I find myself in the midst of the expectations?

It's Coming...

This weekend, the weather was gorgeous. Time was spent enjoying being outside with the puppies. Windows were opened. Shorts were worn.
Now I have the itch. That longing that I always get when the weather warms up. I want adventure. I crave hot weather. I need reasons to go driving with the sunroof open.
I can't wait for my next road trip. I don't know when, and I don't know where, but soon...

Blast from the Past

Ever notice how every once in a while, yourself from your past sneaks up to surprise and remind you...
Sometimes its a reminder of how far you've come, and sometimes, it's a reminder of how far you've strayed...
It's then that you realize what you've lost, and how all those small decisions have completely changed the path and focus of your life.

So today, I've made the decision to find that person once more. That person who could find joy in an open window and a starry night, who laughed like it was essential to existence. I'm going back to that place, and I'm excited for the adventure.